Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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