So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
