How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
