At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
