Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
