I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
