i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
