I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i out mim tonsoeep
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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