so explain again why im purple
no
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
