Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
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