Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Sorry about my life...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
