Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
