I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
