i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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