does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
