I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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