i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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