i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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