Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
