like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
