im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
