I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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