she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
