And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
