sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
