You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
