All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Fuck appropriateness.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
