Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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