their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My ass is underappreciated
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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