I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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