Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
