I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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