some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
