you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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