its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
