Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
