Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
