is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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