we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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