Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
