if you like me you must not know who I am
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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