so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
