question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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