I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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