Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
