wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Hippo gnu deer
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
