i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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