And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
