ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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