I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
